RE: Mindset Skills
THIS Is The Adventure!
Old Thoughts: I’ve got to resist stuff that doesn’t show up the way I want. If I don’t resist it, I’m saying it’s OK for it to happen and it’s NOT OK.
New Thoughts: Embrace what shows up and ask ‘What can I do with this that will allow me to bless others and create more of what I want?’
Instead of thinking and saying stuff like:
- I would do this awesome thing except THIS is going on…
- If only THIS weren’t happening, I could…
- My life would be better if it weren’t for THIS…
I’m going to think and say:
THIS Is The Adventure!
I am excited about how powerful this mindset will be for me. I lived in a victim mindset for so long and even though I haven’t rested in that attitude in years – the habit of blaming problems on other people or life’s circumstances is still strong.
I’m checking out of the blame game and leaning into taking radical responsibility for my life.
Separating the issues of blame and responsibility is hugely freeing.
Blame is overrated and assigning blame doesn’t change a damn thing.
I look back and see embarrassingly large chunks of time in my life where I was so focused on the problems not being my fault – I stayed complete stuck in them.
Think about it. Does having someone to blame make the situation any better? Nope. Doesn’t matter whether I can see someone as being to blame or see a situation as being nobody’s fault – I have to face it. All consideration of cause aside, I’m responsible to do something about it.
I can look at any situation and circumstance and simply say, “THIS is what’s showed up for me to work with and I’ll do what I can with joy and intention.”
There isn’t always someone to blame.
Things break. People let you down. Relationships end. Businesses fail. Plans fall through. Shit happens and THIS Is The Adventure!
It’s not that I’m going to stop planning. I’m not about to suddenly become sloppy and thoughtless. I will aim true when it’s in my control. When life throws a curve ball, I’m going to say THIS Is The Adventure and dig in instead of shifting into resistance, frustration, and blame.
Is this change in attitude really necessary? I mean, will it change anything? I believe so! I’ve wasted so much time, emotion, and energy on being mad, sad, and just plain frustrated with the stuff showing up in my life – I’m finally ready for something different.
Hey, I’m not suggesting it will be easy.
Right this minute, my step dad has cancer for the third time. I can’t look at that and say ‘Hmm, I can work with that’. But I won’t waste time and energy railing against the unfairness of it all either. Sweet Pete is nearly 80 years old and his presence in my life is a gift. I’ll be there with him and show him all the love I’ve got, holding every moment as precious because THIS too is the adventure.
This is not just a coping mechanism.
This isn’t just some way to stop being negative or a trick of the mind to be more positive.
It’s about leaning into awareness of the awesome gift of this amazingly beautiful life God has given me.
- It’s not perfect.
- My body feels like a mess sometimes.
- My finances aren’t perfect.
- I don’t have a life partner.
- People I love are hurting.
- The world around me is scary and chaotic.
- The future is uncertain.
And yet…
My Life Is Amazingly Beautiful & I Am Grateful
I will no longer wait for something or someone to stop, start, change, shift, grow, shrink – or whatever – to keep moving towards what I know I’m meant to do with my life.
THIS Is The Adventure.
I went in search of a great new coffee mug to compliment my motto and found one that says ‘And so the Adventure begins’, which is so perfect.
I had to laugh when I opened the package and found THIS:
How fitting that my mug to celebrate embracing life as it comes – shows up not perfect!
At another time I would have frowned and instantly complained – but THIS Is The Adventure! I’m just giggling about it as I sip my coffee.
Here’s a straight on view of the design… which I just love.
Let’s talk more about this.
Making the choice to get out of constant resistance to what’s showing up in life can and will have a great impact in my business too. I’m curious about what thoughts you might have about it.
I love your new thoughts and mindset! Yes it is a great adventure. Have a beautiful day Kelly.
very interesting thoughts on life!
I have spent SO much time in the blame game and it left me stuck too. I still find myself falling into here and there. Even when there is someone to blame I'm still stuck, so I have to choose something else, choose my own approach, that's how I can navigate life in a way that feels meaningful and filled with love. Shitty things happen, I can roll with it, feel my feelings, and LIVE.
Shitty things happen for certain! Imagine if we all gave ourself freedom to feel our feelings and keep moving forward 😍
When I start feeling stressed and anxious I ask myself "Am I doing what I should be doing right now?" Usually it is yes. Since I'm doing what I should be doing, I can push away the other thoughts and continue on. In the few situations where it is no, I can move on to what is more important.
I try and not blame people or things but like everyone there is times when I do. But I want to stop and to teach my son not to as well. Which is why your article meaning a lot to me this morning. Thank you for writing the article.